How To Find Your Purpose: Clarity, Direction, & Living Your Calling
Guest Podcast on the Liz Roberta Show
What You'll Hear in This Episode
Purpose isn't a destination you arrive at once and check off the list. It's layered, evolving, and yes, sometimes messy. In this conversation with Liz Roberta, I share my journey from federal investigator to transformational coach, the spiritual reclamation that changed everything, and the framework that helps high-achieving women stop performing their lives and start living them.
We talk about:
✨ How childhood stories shape our soul's calling (and why that matters)
✨ The 5 pillars of personal fulfillment and why the order matters
✨ What happens when burnout forces you to rebuild from scratch
✨ Why diversifying your joy is non-negotiable
✨ How to lead your life with clarity instead of urgency
You Don't Become Someone New. You Come Home to Who You've Always Been
I spent years as a federal investigator. I was good at it. I knew how to read people, uncover truth, navigate systems built to obscure it. I learned how to hold power without performing it.
But I also learned what happens when you build a life that looks impressive from the outside while quietly abandoning yourself on the inside.
I was stretched thin. Over-responsible. Under-expressed. I carried the emotional load like a second job. I expanded beyond my natural limits because that's what high-achievers do—we build capacity the hard way.
And then I hit a wall. Not the kind that breaks you, but the kind that stops you long enough to ask: Is this all there is?
That question changed everything.
The Books That Shaped Us
When I look back at my life—how I've led it, the mysteries I've wanted to solve, the people I've wanted to help—I think about the Adventures of Tintin. That young investigative journalist who traveled the world, uncovered truth, and brought his dog everywhere he went.
That book series planted something in me when I was six years old. And I have to wonder: how much of this is my soul's calling, and how much was the universe putting those books in front of me to shape my path?
I think it's both.
We read so many books as children, but certain ones stick. The ones that resonate aren't random—they're showing us something we already know, something we're already aligned with. They're affirming the path we're meant to walk.
So if there's a childhood story that shaped you, pay attention to it. It's probably telling you something about who you've always been.
The Reclamation: Coming Back to the Little Girl in the Olive Trees
I don't know that we ever become someone new. In my experience, transformation is about going back to who we were before the world taught us to perform.
For me, that's the little girl walking through her garden in the South of France, climbing into olive trees, talking to the wind. That version of me had an unshakable faith that everything was going to be okay. She leaped and trusted the net would appear.
Somewhere along the way, I lost that.
I prioritized academics, rationality, masculine structures. I needed to perform because I wanted a good job so I could be financially independent and not feel like a burden. I became a high-achiever, an overachiever, someone who proved herself through grades and rubrics and the next big opportunity.
That's how I ended up in the military. In law enforcement. In spaces where I was usually the youngest, the only woman, the one holding it all together.
But I never sacrificed who I was. I just dimmed certain parts of myself—the divine feminine, the spiritual, the soft.
My wake-up call came when I joined 19 strangers on a 20-day trek through the Himalayas. For the first time in my life, I was in a group where I felt like I could be fully myself without judgment. I had no responsibility. No one knew me. It was the safest space I'd ever been in to just be.
And I left with 19 friends who genuinely liked me—not because I was needed, but because of who I was.
That trip cracked me open. It showed me that my perception of myself wasn't set in stone. And it made me ask: What if I started believing I was fun, likeable, worthy of being taken care of? What if I let that guide my life?
That became my five-year transformational journey. That became the work I do now.
The 5 Pillars of Personal Fulfillment (And Why the Order Matters)
Most clients who come to me have prioritized achievement. They know how to do really well. What they've lost is how to be—how to be happy, fulfilled, present without needing to earn it.
The work I take them through is built on five pillars that all start with the letter P: Presence, Purpose, People, Parley, Pleasure.
These pillars support the foundation of personal fulfillment. You need all of them. If one falters, the others can hold you up while you rebuild it.
But the order matters. Here's why:
Presence
You can't reclaim your life if you're not present to it. This is about nervous system regulation, reconnecting to your body, overcoming overwhelm. It's about taking stock of where you are right now—your current location on the GPS.
Only then can you look at where you want to go.
Purpose
Once you know where you are, you can ask: For what purpose? Not just the big life calling (though we get there), but the everyday purpose. Why are you doing what you're doing? What benefit are you deriving from it—even the unhelpful patterns?
You can't release what no longer serves you until you understand why you've been holding onto it.
People
Now that you know what you want, you can build community around it. You can surround yourself with people who are aligned with your values, who nourish you instead of drain you.
Parley
This is the art of communication and negotiation. Now that you know what you need and have people who support you, you can advocate for yourself. You can set boundaries. You can communicate without apologizing for your truth.
Pleasure
Finally, pleasure becomes what guides every decision. Not as a reward for productivity, but as the fuel that keeps you alive. This is where you stop waiting for permission and start living now.
If you're not present to your pleasure, it becomes another achievement you catalogue but never land in. Another experience you rush past. Another photo you find 10 years later and realize you forgot to actually live it.
What I Learned from Burning Out
When I left the military and went full-time into coaching, I made one significant mistake: I cut everything out.
I was burnt out, so I stopped working. I stopped seeking clients. I didn't leave the house because I was trying to save money. I wasn't interacting with strangers. I wasn't exploring my new city. I wasn't building community.
And I fell into a depressive state.
That's when I realized how critical the People and Pleasure pillars are. Even when I knew my purpose and was present to my depression, I needed those other pillars to hold me up.
So I got intentional. I joined three book clubs. I started volunteering. I joined local hiking groups. I gave myself things on the calendar that forced me to leave the house and connect.
Fast forward a year and a half, and I now serve on the board of three nonprofit organizations. I have a community. I have hobbies that bring me joy. I'm horseback riding with 12-year-olds (humbling and hilarious), sailing with other women, gardening.
I diversified my portfolio of joy. And that saved me.
Transformation Isn't Linear. It's Cyclical.
When you fully embody and integrate this work—when you don't have to choose between your ambition and what your soul wants—it's contagious. People see it. They take notice.
You start surrounding yourself with people who want to be called forward into that more integrated, delighted, joyful state of being. People who want to change the world but don't want to become martyrs to it.
That's the work. That's the transformation.
You don't need fixing. You need freedom. You need space to reclaim your voice, your boundaries, your pleasure, your presence.
And you need someone who's walked this path to hold you while you walk yours.
Ready to Dive Deeper?
If this conversation resonated, there are a few ways we can work together:
The SEA
Group Program
A 12-month guided program where you reclaim your center through presence, purpose, people, communication, and pleasure.
The Reclamation
1:1 Mentorship
Private 1:1 mentorship for the woman ready to return to herself fully and fiercely.
Le Salon
Free Community
A free Telegram community for weekly reflections, prompts, and connection.
